Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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