Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
