I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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