planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
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