Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
