4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
