But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Randomize
