the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
We're using joints as your birthday candles
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Randomize
