And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
