i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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