Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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