Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
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