Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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