u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
