i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Randomize
