theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize