a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
