Quick, to the slutcave!
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
