Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
