I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
