I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Randomize
