just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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