I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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