i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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