we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
