White coat. Heels.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Text me some of your sweat
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