Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Houston, we have a blender
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Boobs speak an international language.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize