I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
