He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Use "feeling words"
Yay
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
