he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
