His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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