I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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