Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
