Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
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