dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
