did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
