There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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