last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
