hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
im holly from the hills drunk
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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