There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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