Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
