I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
