do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I miss vodka workout Fridays
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
sex in a hospital.. check
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
where are my pants?
in the oven.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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