so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
