another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
