she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
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