Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
The air was thick with penises
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
