GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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