i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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