I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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