That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
My penis needs a shock collar
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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