hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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