wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
