You can't special order awesome
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize