maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
pray to the hookup gods
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
