At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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