Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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