Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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