I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
